Self confidence

Battling with a chronic skin condition that covers your whole body can cause a tad of insecurities. With me, it’s like being a dog. But a human, shedding. It’s very uncomfortable and literally painful. Because it doesn’t just itch, but burns and bleeds. When it happens, the pain is unbearable. It’s like you’re sinking your whole body in a tub filled with alcohol, that sting and crazy burn. After these years, I have been very insecure with my skin. When going out, I’d always cover up. My friends has never been bothered by it. In fact, they say they don’t even notice it. All they see is my face. Somebody once told me it’s all in my head. And it was true. So I’ve tried even harder to get over it. I know I it won’t go away overnight and it’s not curable. It’s something I will have to accept and live with. And I have accepted it. I have my good days and bad ones.

A few weeks ago, there was a very beautiful day that Texas didn’t have for a few weeks. The temperature was super warm and perfect. I had decided to take a huge chance and went out in public, not covering up my skin. I haven’t went out in public uncovered in years. So this was a big deal to me. Such a big one. Going out in public, I was very nervous in the beginning. But I did it. I went to the store and on a few errands, feeling comfortable and confident in myself. I noticed people didn’t treat me differently. Getting back to my car, I was so proud of myself for facing my fear and finally doing something I’ve been wanting to for such a long time. I just sat there and cried. Cried out of happiness. For the first time in a long time, I really felt comfortable in my own skin. It was then I realized what it truly meant to love your own skin. I was fearless. I am fearless.

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4 thoughts on “Self confidence

  1. I’ve been reading your blog tonight. You and your service and attitude towards Jehovah is simply beautiful. You are an example to me.

    Like

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