Now that I’ve started working, I feel more independent. I know with a job, I will have more responsibilities to take care of besides my family. I will soon have more responsibilities to take care for my own self. And honestly I’m looking forward to them. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually like having my plate full. I think, because I’ve been so used to having responsibilities, mostly towards my family, I’m used to it and enjoy doing it. Since my parents do not speak much of English, they are dependent on me. One of the many daily things I do is taking care of the bills, organizing them and paying it when the due date is coming. This has taught me so much of spending my money. Every month, I would calculate all of our spendings and it has always hurt me so much, to the core, to see how much my Dad has to pay. And one thing I’ve always wanted to do is to pay him back, in any amount I can help with. So now that I’m working, I will be able to help him out financially with what I can. And it feels so good to do that.
One thing I know for sure when I started working, I won’t be able to work in the ministry as much like I used to. But I do give my very best to Jehovah, still staying committed to him even though my service schedule won’t be the same anymore. Speaking of which; for the past few months, I have been doing early witnessing even more and I have been getting so many great calls and started several Bible Studies. I’ve been trying to take more advantage to talk to people during my Dad. For instance, on the days of my treatments, I wake up a little more early and go out and start my time at a nearby Dart Train or gas station and continue throughout my morning, even after my appointment. I am very proud of myself for doing more. Because of this, I’ve become a morning person. And something I like is to start my day early. Because when I do, I find that I end up with more time left, because I’ve gotten the chance to get most of the things I need to take care of, done early. It’s a pioneer mindset that I want to continue having.
Besides that, thinking about this past year and especially these past few recent months, it’s been a roller coaster. With highs and lows. But something I’ve realized is I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. Especially with Jehovah’s help. And the love I have, always keeps growing. Even during the times I try to push it away. I notice every time something happens, Jehovah has always provided me with something in some spiritual activity or encouraging occasion to keep myself busy. Either an Assembly, last minute dinners with a friend, a new video on our website, random phone call from someone. I’m enormously happy with the friends that I have. I never realize how much I mean to people and what effect I have on them. But I know they love me so much. I always find some sort of surprise from someone either with flowers, a card, something and it makes my day so much! Lately, I’ve gotten to spend a lot of quality time with one of my favorite people, RosieJoe. I love her so much. She has always surprised me with something and never fails to make my cry (happy tears). Every time we spend time together, it’s tears and laughter. I love it so much. I remember she once surprised me with a cake from her workplace that she made. It was a strawberry creme bunt cake with a a huge sunflower (because it’s my favorite flower), a little picnic decoration (because I love picnics), and with some cook books (because I enjoy reading and cooking). It definitely made me tear up, because the effort and tiny details she remembered was so loving.
I’ve come up with a few short term goals that I want to accomplish:
- spend a weekend doing seldom territory
- attend pioneer school
- temporarily worker at Bethel
- attend an International Convention
I always want to put myself out there and try something new. I think for right now, I want to keep myself more busy than ever. With work and my relationship with Jehovah and make it better every day. And with every day trials, I say bring it on. Because with every trial, it just motivates me to become more stronger. My mindset is making the best of everything. I’m going to continue doing that. All that I’ve done is focused on myself and becoming a better person. And to be honest, I’m pretty happy with my progress. I know there will be days where I will just be tired of everything, but I have to keep strong and continue to move forward.
“For when I am weak, I am strong”
2 Cor. 12:9-11