One thing I have personally worked on a lot throughout this year was appreciating myself more. Many people ask me about my condition, with care or without when they first see me. For years, I have been struggling with my appearance. I first had psoriasis when I was 13 years old. During that time, I was still trying to figure myself out, going through teenage years. Shortly, it gradually spread. Still in my teenage years, a lot was going on. I did not fully understand this disease. It took a lot of time and research to finally understand what it is and how to cope with it like I am today.
Years, I was covered 90% all over. It was hard to move around, breathe, even sleep. Not being able to know what exactly is triggering it. Because it is an autoimmune disease, it’s frustrating since it can be a whole list of things adding up.The past two years, I have been able to see my real skin peek out even more. I still have flare ups. It is still hard on some days. But I am very happy to see a lot of improvement.
I have learned to love myself more and accept how I am, appear. Cliche, what matters is the inside, but you do not see that when you first meet someone. So of course the appearance matter to an extent. I’ve learned that if I can accept who and how I am, I will get better. I am my own enemy. If I keep fighting myself, I will get worse. Having enough stress on my plate, fighting myself will be a waste of energy and time. It will only make me get sick even more. It took a lot of work and time. And right now it is still a process. Some days, I can be the most confident person ever. On others, it is a battle. But I work through it. I think that is why reminding yourself what you love about you is important. It sounds weird, but self motivation and love is nothing wrong. It is healthy.
I’ve found that reminding my own self what I am capable of, what I love about myself, and that I am strong helps a lot. Because at the end of the day, no matter what anyone says, it is me that deals with my own problems. There’s not a day when I go out and not get ugly looks. I hear people whisper things. Even say not so pretty things to my face. It hurts a lot. But I get over it. I view those things like something I can build positively on by not letting it get to me so much. I need to push my own self to ignore it and brush it off.
Why? Because all of these things are just temporarily.
Here are some things I love about myself:
- genuine kindness
- spiritually focused and striving
- seeing good in others and their potentials
- self love
- willingness to challenge myself
- the way I hug people
- facial expressions
- ability to smile during hard times
- taking in the little things of life
- love for books
- open mind
- appreciation of silence and nature
- list making abilities
- sense of humor
- good manners
- giving out second chances
- hopeless romantic
What are some things you love about yourself?